Express and Accept

I have never particularly enjoyed pictures like the one above in which there are many identical things with one different thing standing out that represents the "unique" individual. Why? Because everyone looks at the different one and thinks "Oh, that's me right there." Before there are misunderstandings, I do not mean to put down people's concepts of themselves being unique. Because I completely agree with them. I agree that they are the unique one. But if everyone is unique, why is individuality portrayed as if there was only one atypical example? Why isn't the picture above one with not only red and green apples, but also yellow ones, mixed with bananas and carrots and socks and balloons and matchbox cars, like an "I Spy" game? This is where our problems begin. The mindset that everyone else but yourself is the same.

Humans aren't stuck in some primitive mindset of eat, reproduce, die, but are rather constantly aware of thoughts, choices, emotions, relationships, victories and failures, gains and losses... And it's these things that shape us. We aren't gingerbread figures that can be decorated with Uggs and leggings, with rectangular glasses and coffee, with thick eyeliner and wrist-warmers to then go on to be called "typical white girl" and "hipster" and "emo." We're more like clay, with the hands of life taking what has been given to them to embellish and perfect what will one day become an individual with opportunities and dreams. And this individual will join in the celebration of life with the way it knows best: expression. Expression varies among people. Some play the guitar, some paint, some write. But others express in less defined ways. Some express through the ways they help their friends, the way they dance in the rain, the things they praise, the people they idolize. But no one can be stamped to express in one way. I can say my sister expresses through singing and my mom through cooking and my boyfriend through the piano. However, while these are included in who they are and how they share it, if I were to phrase it in this way, it would give the image that my sister is all about singing, which she isn't. She's never even had a voice lesson. I, on the other hand, played some form of the clarinet for 5 years and will say with confidence that I never used that to express the person I am on the inside. However, I do express myself through doodling and talking to strangers and traveling and learning. No, I do not have just one way, no, none of these are things you'd know just glancing at me. Unfortunately, people refuse to have this sort of flexibility toward expression.

Back to the apple picture. Pretend that you are the red apple. You look around you and see loads of green apples. Green, being a form of the other apples' expression, becomes a grouping in your mind. You see one green apple and automatically associate it with other green apples. Your observation is done, you detach yourself from all the green apples and revel in your own uniqueness.

Now pretend you're a green apple. You look around and see others who have one thing in common with you: they express in green. This is interesting and you bond over your similarity. However, as you look around more, you see another apple, a red one. While this is different from you, you heard that the red apple was also eaten by a worm, like you, making it a little smaller than normal apples, like you. And indeed, you see the hole where the evil creature left its mark. You roll over to the red apple, introduce yourself politely, and start talking about your worm encounter, hoping that you two would be able to get to know each other through this. You express your emotions and memories, stop talking, and wait.

The red apple glances over and says, "Go away, green apple."

Right now, what we have been raised to do is to be the red apple. We are trained to observe people through their obvious means of expression, from dress to hobbies to those they surround themselves with. And once we draw those conclusions, we scoff at how they are such conformists, how that's their identity, and how that identity won't ever be compatible with ours. Everyone should be a green apple. Look for similarities, and accept that though one form of expression isn't shared that there is much more to that person so one shouldn't stop looking. Our social inclinations are dangerous and must be fought. And if truly nothing can be found to be similar between you two, then at least see the beauty in the difference. Don't change for them, but appreciate how easily a world this small in a universe so big can make so many different people that you actually meet someone in this lifetime who is unique to you like your are to them like everyone is to everyone. Maybe people are more like sandwiches. If life made you turkey while it made that stranger BLT, you may be repelled by each other's differences until you're aware that both of you have lettuce, too. Or you may drop your pretentious wall of rejection and realize that you're completely different in every way possible, laugh, and become best friends from it. Be aware of these expressions, and bond with and accept them.